2 minute read The last time England hit 400, almost 50 ODIs ago, they near as damn it made it to 500. It’s been a while. Probably shouldn’t complain. On that occasion, Eoin Morgan made a golden duck and a couple of weeks later he stopped playing cricket. England’s first 400 had come in his first match in charge. Captaincy handovers seem to improve the odds of high scores. Maybe
2 minute read They say that in London you’re never more than six feet from a rat that has ballooned in size after feeding on one of the city’s countless sewer fatbergs. We don’t know about that, but we do know that in cricket you’re never more than 12 months from a T20 World Cup. So that’s probably what the upcoming ODI series against West Indies is for. The 50-over
2 minute read There you are, point proven. How could you ever have doubted him? Zak Crawley is averaging 124 across his last one innings in Test cricket. We think the way it works is that Zak Crawley’s hundred is only worth something if it can first be hung off something else. Basically, if England ultimately decide to persist with him for some wholly unrelated reason, only then will this
6 minute read Those of us chipping away the verdigris have a pretty good idea what an early summer England v Zimbabwe Test is all about – but at the same time… man, it’s been a while. All previous England v Zimbabwe matches arrived in a very narrow window between May 2000 and June 2003. Some things don’t change though. We’re pretty sure of that. The teams have changed, obviously.
3 minute read Both Mike Atherton’s son, Josh de Caires, and Michael Vaughan’s son, Archie Vaughan, have thus far billed themselves as all-rounders. You’re supposed to write that they’re their own men, making their own unique ways in the game, but we can’t help but notice that de Caires is opening the batting as captain for the PCC Select XI against Zimbabwe this week. Is it possible that despite all
2 minute read When Lancashire were relegated last season, it elicited the usual silver lining consolatory thought among supporters that at least they might win a few more games in Division 2. Dear reader, Lancashire have not yet won a single game in Division 2. Lancashire are bottom. Of the second division. A division so weak, we try to avoid paying attention to it. How bad is this? When Lancs
2 minute read We’re not at all in Rubel Hossain territory here, but we’re pretty sure India just became a better Test team with Virat Kohli’s retirement. He was no longer the Test cricketer he once was. In fact he was essentially John Crawley. When it comes to middle-order batters, India can definitely do better than John Crawley. Now Peak Kohli – he was pretty handy. Over a four-year period
2 minute read No, not really. It’s the tone of irreverent escapism, you see. This gets us through a lot of things, but it takes on a very different hue when it’s applied to a situation where people are actually dying. We went to the India-Pakistan border once. It was 20-odd years ago now, which is a faintly harrowing realisation from a personal perspective. We went and watched the Attari–Wagah
3 minute read They called him Nohit, they called him Hitman – honestly, just make your bloody minds up. When a specialist batter’s feted for the central act of hitting the ball, but also infamous for completely failing to do so, you know he’s covered a bit of ground over the course of his career. Rohit Sharma departs Test cricket with a decent claim to both those seemingly contradictory nicknames.
2 minute read If there’s one thing you can confidently say about Warwickshire’s Ethan Bamber, it’s that his father played Hitler in a Tom Cruise film. The film in question was Valkyrie, about a failed attempt by German army officers to assassinate Hitler. As is for some reason traditional when Hollywood needs people to play Nazis, it features a great many British actors: Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence
